Self Improvement

2016 Kindness Challenge – Week 3

/ Luanne Shernisky / 7 Comments

Kindness Wk 3

As we moved through week 3 of the Kindness Challenge our goal was to radiate kindness. This is easy to do when things are going smoothly and just the way we want. Smiles and a happy outlook are effortless under ideal conditions.

But, how about when everything goes wrong? You know…those days when we wish we had stayed in bed. It feels like a dark cloud is hanging over our heads and nothing is working out the way we hoped. 

At these times the only thing we radiate is anger or frustration. Some of that is directed outward at other people and circumstances beyond our control. The weather, the unexpected traffic jam, the cranky boss. These types of issues can certainly put a damper on our plans and/or spirits. 

This irritation is made worse if we start to blame ourselves:

“I should’ve been prepared for the change in weather.”

“I could’ve left earlier to allow for a possible traffic delay.”

” I would’ve worked harder on the last project, if only the boss were more appreciative.”

Should’ve, could’ve and would’ve.

If we make it a habit to constantly criticize ourselves when the going gets tough, we sure won’t be tolerant of others. During Week #1 we were asked to focus on self-kindness. Directing kindness internally must be an everyday practice if we want to show it outwardly. 

I used to be quite hard on myself, largely due to the circumstances that I lived under. I blamed myself when things didn’t go right, convinced that I could’ve made a difference if only I were smarter, faster, tougher, etc. Certainly, there were times when I dropped the ball (like most human beings), but I was taking responsibility for things that were out of my control. Eventually, I left a bad situation and began to educate myself about the importance of self-compassion.

As I began to treat myself with love and patience, I was able to accept my humanity. Being human means occasionally making mistakes and I learned to be okay with that. I also noticed that I was more tolerant of others. Things that used to upset me no longer had the negative effects that they once had.

This past week one of my children made a snarky comment and I was able to let it roll right off. My response was a smile and a good-natured, “Oh, no that’s not what I meant…” and I explained in further detail my point. Ten minutes later I got an apology.

It’s so empowering to be more in control of my own emotions. How great if feels when someone is mean-spirited and I’m able to say to myself, “Something else is bothering them” or “They’re limited emotionally when it comes to this subject.”

Kindness_ContagiousOftentimes, answering anger with understanding can diffuse a tense situation. It’s important to remember that anger is a mask for sadness. 

We must let go of the need to be perfect. Recognizing our own humanity and giving ourselves an occasional pass when we make a mistake or use poor judgement allows us to do the same for those around us. Our kind energy is contagious and that’s definitely something worth “catching.”

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Spare

/ Luanne Shernisky / 9 Comments

Spare.png

Spare

Verb (used with object) – to give or lend, as from a supply, especially without inconvenience or loss:  Can you spare a cup of sugar? Can you spare me a dollar till payday?

“Can you spare some change?”

Naked Cowboy.png

If you’ve ever been to New York City (or other large urban areas) you’ve probably heard this question before. Panhandlers are common sights on the streets. Sometimes they sit silently with a collection can and a sign imploring passersby for donations. Others stand in the intersections, holding small bouquets of flowers to sell to passing motorists. There’s even a fellow known as the Naked Cowboy, who hangs out in Times Square. Dressed only in a cowboy hat, boots, and his skivvies, he strums a guitar throughout the evening hours. For a small contribution you can take a picture with him. I snapped this photo in 2011, so I’m not sure if he’s still there or went on to bigger and better things…

We came across the gentleman pictured above (main photo) in the subway during our trip to NYC. He sat quietly, fashioning soda pop cans into artwork. They really were artistic and looked like some serious skill and patience were needed to create them. They were for sale, for whatever amount you could spare, and he had a large can for prospective buyers to place their money in. We made a small donation without taking any of the soda can art, since a walking tour doesn’t allow for much extra baggage.

Soda CansI don’t remember if his cans had a specific function other than a decorative purpose. I found a picture on the Internet of a similar project that turns cans into hanging ornaments. 

I was impressed not only with his creations, but with his initiative and entrepreneurial spirit. He could be like many of the others and sit with a sign and a can, but he found a way to earn some money and recycle at the same time! 

Adjective – kept in reserve, as for possible use: a spare part.

If you’ve ever walked the streets of NYC on garbage night, you’d be amazed. The number of bags piled up curbside for pickup is like nothing this small town girl had ever seen. Knowing that so much of it is going into landfills, it’s refreshing that this gentleman is doing his part to recycle these spare aluminum cans; something that is easy to find in most trash barrels along the street. 

Noun – a spare thing, part, etc., as an extra tire for emergency use.

The man selling the soda can art doesn’t have to spend money to make money. His materials are spares and readily available (one man’s trash is another man’s treasure!) They only have to be washed and dried before being fashioned into the artwork we see above.

His resourcefulness and efforts to repurpose the aluminum cans are what prompted me to take this picture. I’m glad I did, as it illustrates the various meanings of the word spare, this week’s photo challenge.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Spare

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weekly Photo Challenge

Blogging From A to Z – W

/ Luanne Shernisky / 5 Comments

Job Search 2

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you’re on the job. ~ Slappy White

Blogging From A to Z – W

“W” is for work, something I’m still searching for…

Job searching sure has changed; I needed to get up to speed on simply how to look for a job and all the resources available to do so, before I could even begin the actual search!

Today, the search and application process is mostly done on the Internet. There are websites (called job sites) that bring companies and potential employees together. They have cool names like Simply Hired, Indeed, and Zip Recruiter. As a job seeker, you can register an account with contact info, education, skills, etc. You can also specify what types of jobs you’re looking for and receive alerts (emails) that let you know when a position that meets your criteria opens up.

Gone are the days when you had to check the Help Wanted ads in the daily newspaper. The toughest part was making sure your resume paper was right-side up, so the watermark wasn’t upside down. That was fine if you were seeking employment in the same area that you were currently living, but what did people do if they wanted to move to another state?

I’ve invested quality time scrolling through endless job listings, filling out online applications, tweaking cover letters & the resume, and trying to learn all I can about this whole process.

I thought having a college degree would ensure a better place in the workforce, so I went back to school at 48, when my peers were starting to plan their retirements. The reason I did this and then left my own job of 18 years, was because it was low-paying, with no benefits or retirement, and no chance for advancement.

I relocated to Florida in search of more opportunities and to be near my kids. I thought having experience + the degree would make a difference. You know, being a mature worker. Sadly, I discovered something called “ageism”and suspect that might be at work in some cases. I remember when my dad was laid off after 27 years and how depressed he got. He sat in his chair and watched TV all day, bemoaning the fact that no one wanted to hire an “old guy.” I told him that was crazy; that any smart business would kill for a manager with his history and experience. He ended up at Walmart, taking orders from a youngster who didn’t have anywhere near the business savvy that Dad could offer.

I’ve even applied to jobs that don’t require a college degree, but no luck. They probably figure I’ll continue to look for something better and when it comes along I’ll be gone. And they’re right.

When I was young and had lots of time and energy, I didn’t make great choices regarding my career. I always worked outside the home and managed to raise three great kids. I pretty much focused on them over career aspirations, and have no regrets.

Some days I feel positive and others, not so much. I’m limiting myself to a small geographic area and that’s making it even harder, but I want to be near family. I’ll have to make some sacrifices as far as money, hours, etc., but we can’t expect to have everything.

Maybe I should do what I always joked about. I told everyone that I wanted to live near the beach and rent chairs & boogie boards to the tourists. You know, hang out all day with a clipboard, contemplate life, and possibly find myself.

Find myself a job that is…