Author: Luanne Shernisky

Is It OK to Be Needy?

/ Luanne Shernisky / 2 Comments

 

The word “needy” has always gotten a bad rap, but is being needy really such a bad thing?

“Give to the needy,” is a familiar phrase during holiday food and toy drives, with needy referring to those less fortunate than ourselves.

“You’re so needy,” is a statement I’ve heard one person tell another in a variety of circumstances:

  • parent to child
  • partner to partner
  • friend to friend
  • employer to employee

What they’re really saying is, “You’re expecting too much from me” which connotes something negative and refers to a relationship that has gone out of balance. In some cases this is true; but not always.

The video clip features Dr. Sue Johnson, a respected psychologist who specializes in couples therapy. With her is a panel of therapists discussing the issue of neediness between partners. It’s only a bit over six minutes, but touches on the important points of healthy relationships that I believe carry over from specifical couples to ALL relationships:

  • Humans are wired for interdependency
  • Dependency needs vary from family to family; therefore, couples must learn to strike a balance
  • The ability to be a part of a team AND an individual, at the same time, take maturity and skill
  • Oftentimes people view needing another as a sign of weakness when in reality having someone we can trust and rely on makes us stronger
  • Codependency is an unhealthy, out of balance state, whereby one person regulates their emotions based on their partner’s behavior

Healthy relationships

As long as our needs don’t cross over the boundaries of the other person, they’re probably within reason. If our expectations allow them to remain an individual and true to themselves, then that relationship stands a good chance of success!   🙂

Infinity Dreams Award

/ Luanne Shernisky / 3 Comments

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The Rules for the Award

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you
  2. List 11 facts about yourself
  3. Answer their questions
  4. Nominate 11 bloggers

I want to offer my thanks & appreciation to https://kingsoracle.wordpress.com/ for nominating me for this award. I’m so grateful for your support and encouragement!Th

So…..

11 Facts About Me:

  1. I love to write
  2. I love to read
  3. I enjoy taking pictures
  4. I like to do crafts
  5. My favorite place to live/vacation is the beach
  6. My zodiac sign is Aries and it fits me well
  7. I don’t have a favorite food (there’s too many to choose!)
  8. I like my wine red and room temperature
  9. I like my beer cold in a frosted glass
  10. I enjoy meeting people and learning about their stories
  11. I want to travel and see new places

My Questions to answer:

Q:  How would you describe yourself?

A:  I’m a champion of the underdog; I’m outgoing and genuine – what you see is what you get.

Q:  Name the best five values in life:

A:  Honesty – Compassion – Discipline – Respect – Humor

Q:  What are your highest priorities in life?

A:  To be a life long learner and do what I can to make the world a better place

Q:  If you could spend the weekend with a loved one where would you choose to go?

A:  I would choose a city (that we’ve never been to) that offers culture, entertainment, and great restaurants.

Q: What is the #1 item on your Bucket List?

A:  My #1 item was to finally earn my college degree, which I did in December, 2013.

My questions for the blogs that I’m nominating:

  1. Who is your favorite (or one of your favorite) authors?
  2. What is your favorite (or one of your favorite) books?
  3. If you could publish only one book, what would it be about?
  4. What teacher made the biggest impact on you and why?
  5. If you could meet one historical figure, who would it be and why?

I nominate the following blogs for this award:

  1. http://mainelysteph.com/
  2. www.justmeplease.com
  3. amichelleexperience.me
  4. yzhengblog.wordpress.com
  5. blabberwockying.wordpress.com
  6. joankerrigan.com
  7. ladieswholunchreviews.wordpress.com
  8. starlitoctave.wordpress.com
  9. zumitodenaranja.wordpress.com
  10. thetravelinglily.wordpress.com
  11. salazarjoana.wordpress.com

This is the first time I’ve been nominated for any type of award. Thanks, in advance, to all my nominees who wish to participate, as well!   🙂

 

 

 

Items of Interest

/ Luanne Shernisky / 3 Comments

Twitter responded to the the terrorist threats against Belgium, made over the weekend of November 21st,  in a very unique way:  cat memes.

During the city wide lockdown citizens initially  began tweeting information about the on-going operation. Police quickly requested, via tweet, that the public not share any  information. They complied by replacing those tweets with a variety of cat memes. I believe that by responding to threats with humor, they showed the terrorists that the citizens of Brussels will not be intimidated, as well as their love of cats.

As a current job searcher I’m always on the lookout for advice that can help achieve the desired result (getting hired.) According to this self test on Resume Genius, hiring managers take only six seconds in deciding whether to keep or trash a resume.

It offers ten different resumes and you have to choose, within six seconds each, which ones you’d keep or toss. Once you receive your score (the average score is 6, I got a 5) you’re then shown three resumes. Of those candidates you must choose the best one, after which you’re shown what percentage of the test-takers chose each of the three candidates.

The purpose of the exercise is to illustrate the importance of having a well done resume, both in appearance and content. It was fun, informative, and a real eye opener!

This list caught my eye on November 19th, which was this year’s Great American Smokeout. As a former smoker (I’ve been “clean” for four years and seven months) I wanted to see which ones I had utilized in my own efforts to stop smoking. It turns out that of the ten, I had practiced six.

It wasn’t my  first attempt to quit; there were many over the years. I wasn’t a heavy smoker. I didn’t reach for a cigarette first thing in the morning and refrained from smoking in the car or while I was doing other tasks. Despite quitting several times for varying periods of time, I always went back. I believe that was because I wasn’t truly committed. Once I made up my mind that I was going to quit for good, I was able to do it. Mind over matter in addition to some good strategies was the ticket I needed to finally kick the habit!

This is a wonderful story about a  man, Hyong Yi, who honored his late wife on the first anniversary of her death by handing out 100 love notes to total strangers.

Each note was numbered and, when read in order, chronicled their life together. Hyong encouraged the recipients to pass the messages on to a loved one and even supplied a blank card to write their own notes on. His goal wasn’t to gain attention on the Internet, but to simply remember his wife is a loving way.

Many of the people responded in a positive way and these heartfelt thoughts can be found on 100LoveNotes.com.

After spending sixteen years in prison on sexual assault charges, Luis Vargas was cleared on November 23rd after new DNA evidence linked the crime to another man.

Stories like this really get to me. Imagine being wrongly accused of a serious crime and then being put in prison for it. Sixteen years is a long time to have taken from you. I can’t fathom what that must feel like.

Thankfully the advancements in science have made DNA testing possible and will hopefully prevent these types of horrific mistakes from being made.