Writing Prompt

/ Luanne Shernisky / 4 Comments

If I Could Turn Back Time

Merry-go-round

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ~ From the television show The Wonder Years

Ah, the wonder years; so sweet, so fleeting, so….long ago. 

Or maybe only yesterday? I suppose it varies for everyone. 

For me, I would return to my childhood; those magical years of believing that the good guys always win, really bad things only happen to other people, and everyone lives happily ever after.
The details of those memories have grown vague through the decades, but some of the childlike beliefs remain clear in my mind’s eye. Mom and Dad would always be around to take care of us:  Dad never ran out of money, always had a job, knew how to fix everything, and always took us on a two week summer vacation. Mom fed us, always cleaned the house, took care of us when we got sick, and always signed the report cards. 
 Always. That was the reoccurring theme that ran through everything I experienced and believed as a kid. Sure, I knew that things changed as one grew up:  we’d go to college, get a career, get married, have our own families, etc. But those were all positive things; I never thought about or realized that there would be negative changes as well. 
children running
I guess you could think of it as “ignorance is bliss.” We were blissfully ignorant to the problems and sorrow happening, not only in the world, but in our own families as well. During the years from 1961 to 1973 (my birth through age 12) the following world events occurred:
  • The Berlin Wall was built
  • Marilyn Monroe died
  • Cuban Missile Crisis brings the US and USSR to the brink of nuclear conflict
  • US President John F Kennedy assassinated
  • Star Trek debuts on US television
  • The US enters the Vietnam War
  • Martin Luther King, Jr. assassinated
  • Neil Armstrong becomes the first man to walk on the moon
  • Four student protesters shot dead by the National Guard at Kent State University, US
  • The microprocessor – the foundation for today’s computers – is introduced

 

BW Kids watching TVOkay, so it wasn’t all bad. I remember some amazing things, like the Apollo 11 mission. I stood on the beach in Florida and watched Neil Armstrong and his crew blast off from Kennedy Space Center, headed for the moon. Four days later, on a black and white television screen, we watched his historic moonwalk. I would go on to witness many more positive and negative world events.

My own family was very fortunate during this time. Everyone, including aunts, uncles, and grandparents, were still “young.” There were only a couple of funerals throughout those years and the only near tragedy was an auto accident that left my uncle in critical condition and a coma for a week. Fortunately, he recovered and lived another 40+ years.

So, when I reminisce about those days, everything has the nostalgia that comes from selective memory. We have the unique knack of forgetting the bad stuff and retaining the good.

  • When I think of rainy days, I remember building dams against the curbs on the streets; not the thunderstorms that drove me under a blanket with fear.
  • When I think of school, I remember the fun of the holiday parties, not the frustration of trying to learn multiplication tables.
  • Summers were filled with long sunny days spent down the hollow catching crawfish and playing until the curfew sounded at 10 pm, not the nights in a damp bed, sweating from the humidity, listening to the drone of a box fan.
  • Our TV was black and white, with only three channels, but I remember the excitement of watching studio wrestling on Saturday nights.  

Childhood was long enough ago that the unhappiness and bad times have sufficiently faded. Unfortunately, much of the good stuff has also. I have to make a concerted effort to remember those days, but the pleasure comes more quickly than the pain. 

 

children on monkeybars

For me, those years represent an all-too-short period of time when worries were for grownups and we were in the business of having fun. We would learn that always and never don’t apply. That bad things can and do touch our lives. That not all change is good and some people don’t live happily ever after.

But those happy memories stay with us, like a sweet gift that we tuck away in a drawer, to be pulled out whenever we want. Memories are the only real connection to the past that lasts and, if we’re lucky, they stay with us to the end.

 

Fearless Fantasies

/ Luanne Shernisky / 3 Comments

Fearless Fantasies

FEAR

There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear.  ~ George S. Patton

I’ve always believed that fear is like a double-edged sword. A little bit is a good thing; we stay away from the edge of the cliff and that keeps us safe. Conversely, too much is a bad thing;  it can cripple us, preventing new experiences and growth. The trick is knowing the difference and understanding when fear is appropriate and when it’s debilitating.

Thanks to the almond shaped amygdala, nestled deep in the temporal lobe of the brain, our body generates fear quickly in reaction to external stimuli. The “fight or flight” response kicks in and directs us to either stay and fight the thing that scares us, or run away from it. This physiological reaction is due to a tangible threat: a snake, a bear, an intruder wielding a gun, etc.

At the other end of the spectrum is fear that results from imagined threats. Yes, if we quit our mundane job to pursue our passion we might not make as much money. If we move to another city we might not be happy. If we ask for a raise we might not get it. So, because something bad might happen, we never venture outside our comfort zone.

Skydiving_over_Cushing

Some risks in life are worth taking if we want to grow. Author Susan Jeffers discusses this in her best selling book “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.” Changes are often needed in order to improve our lives, but change is scary. People in abusive relationships will remain in an unhealthy relationship rather than leave their abusers. In spite of the potential for violence, these people cling to what is familiar rather than face the fear of the unknown.

I credit fear with making sure I use a seatbelt, drive defensively, brush my teeth, pay my bills, etc. Fear kept me out of the deep water until I learned to swim. Fear guides me away from those things that I know can be dangerous and threaten my survival. However, I’ve also allowed fear to paralyze me when changes were needed to improve my life.

“Throwing caution to the wind” is something I’ve learned to do over the past ten years, when the circumstances called for it. I’ve made many major changes in my life and there’s been great improvements because of it. Each of those changes caused a certain amount of fear. Understanding which type of fear and whether it’s reasonable for a given situation helps in determining what the next step should be, if any.

Fear is the father of courage and the mother of safety. ~ Henry H. Tweedy

Keeping that double-edged sword close at hand is advisable; knowing how and when to use it is imperative. If you don’t believe me, just ask General Patton!