Kindness

Kindness Challenge – Week #4

/ Luanne Shernisky / 11 Comments

Our challenges for the first three weeks have been:  self-kindness, find kindness, and generate kind energy towards others.

Kindness June 7_2

Week #4 was to be kind by demonstrating some or all of the following:

  • Make eye contact and greet people around you
  • Hold the door for the person entering behind you
  • Compliment 5 people
  • Say “please” and “thank you” often
  • Address a stranger by their name (server, barista, cashier, janitor, etc.)
  • Take something special to your coworkers (bake a breakfast, offer snacks, etc.)
  • Leave a bowl of water out for stray animals
  • Make a few care bags for the homeless (mini toothpaste, toothbrush, hand wipes, lotion, tissues, chapstick, a bottle of water, soft snacks, etc.)
  • Be a listening ear for someone, listening in earnest and not just to reply
  • Mow a neighbor’s lawn
  • Give someone a handwritten note letting them know you appreciate them
  • Volunteer a couple of hours of your time to a cause you care about

I’m happy to say that I do some of these suggestions on an everyday basis. I always make eye contact, greet people, hold doors, say “please” and “thank you,” be a compassionate listener, and address strangers by their first name.

Unfortunately, I’m not employed yet, so I can’t take treats to work and with the concerns over a potential outbreak of the Zika virus here in Florida, standing water isn’t a good idea.

The rest of the ideas are good ones and I’m definitely going to  write some thank-you notes to a few select people that have supported me when I needed it most.

Some of my acts of kindness for the week consist of:

  • Turning the other cheek
  • Helping my son with some yard work
  • Making a small monetary donation to a local fundraiser
  • Giving someone the benefit of the doubt

It’s amazing how good it feels to do these acts of kindness, particularly the ones that require self-control over runaway emotions. I used to respond to other people’s inconsiderate behavior in a very negative way, but now I have a much greater level of self-awareness. I’m able to pause and think before I react, which is very empowering!

Kindness June 7_3

When it comes to helping someone there’s an immediate feeling of goodness. Just knowing that our time in this life is limited makes those moments all the more special. I remember the kindnesses shown to me by people who have passed on, particularly my dad and grandma. The memory of their many acts of love inspires me to do the same. I want my family and friends to remember me with a warm heart and a smile. 

Kindness serves a wonderful purpose while we’re living and makes a great legacy after we’re gone. 

What kind of legacy will you leave?

Kindness Challenge – Week #4

 

2016 Kindness Challenge – Week 3

/ Luanne Shernisky / 7 Comments

Kindness Wk 3

As we moved through week 3 of the Kindness Challenge our goal was to radiate kindness. This is easy to do when things are going smoothly and just the way we want. Smiles and a happy outlook are effortless under ideal conditions.

But, how about when everything goes wrong? You know…those days when we wish we had stayed in bed. It feels like a dark cloud is hanging over our heads and nothing is working out the way we hoped. 

At these times the only thing we radiate is anger or frustration. Some of that is directed outward at other people and circumstances beyond our control. The weather, the unexpected traffic jam, the cranky boss. These types of issues can certainly put a damper on our plans and/or spirits. 

This irritation is made worse if we start to blame ourselves:

“I should’ve been prepared for the change in weather.”

“I could’ve left earlier to allow for a possible traffic delay.”

” I would’ve worked harder on the last project, if only the boss were more appreciative.”

Should’ve, could’ve and would’ve.

If we make it a habit to constantly criticize ourselves when the going gets tough, we sure won’t be tolerant of others. During Week #1 we were asked to focus on self-kindness. Directing kindness internally must be an everyday practice if we want to show it outwardly. 

I used to be quite hard on myself, largely due to the circumstances that I lived under. I blamed myself when things didn’t go right, convinced that I could’ve made a difference if only I were smarter, faster, tougher, etc. Certainly, there were times when I dropped the ball (like most human beings), but I was taking responsibility for things that were out of my control. Eventually, I left a bad situation and began to educate myself about the importance of self-compassion.

As I began to treat myself with love and patience, I was able to accept my humanity. Being human means occasionally making mistakes and I learned to be okay with that. I also noticed that I was more tolerant of others. Things that used to upset me no longer had the negative effects that they once had.

This past week one of my children made a snarky comment and I was able to let it roll right off. My response was a smile and a good-natured, “Oh, no that’s not what I meant…” and I explained in further detail my point. Ten minutes later I got an apology.

It’s so empowering to be more in control of my own emotions. How great if feels when someone is mean-spirited and I’m able to say to myself, “Something else is bothering them” or “They’re limited emotionally when it comes to this subject.”

Kindness_ContagiousOftentimes, answering anger with understanding can diffuse a tense situation. It’s important to remember that anger is a mask for sadness. 

We must let go of the need to be perfect. Recognizing our own humanity and giving ourselves an occasional pass when we make a mistake or use poor judgement allows us to do the same for those around us. Our kind energy is contagious and that’s definitely something worth “catching.”

 

The Kindness of Strangers

/ Luanne Shernisky / 19 Comments

kindness

When scanning the headlines over our morning oatmeal we often see words like death, killing, bombings, unemployment, and so on. 

So, when was the last time you saw the word “kindness” in a headline (this post not included!)

The vast majority of the 24/7 news cycle is negative and I truly believe this has an effect on society as a whole. I wrote a post awhile back about how the latest shooting rampage gave me nightmares, something I hadn’t experienced in a long time. It’s downright depressing and, thanks to technology, its constant. 

This is why efforts like The Kindness Challenge are so important. Receiving a steady diet of “junk food” is going to have detrimental effects on the consumer. Conversely, a balanced diet that includes positive news, will have a healthy effect on people. There are many changes and improvements needed to make the world better. Change is hard and with all the bad news it’s very difficult to feel hopeful.

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. ~Charles Kuralt, On the Road With Charles Kuralt

I’ve been thinking a lot about the kindness factor in our society and realized so much of it occurs between strangers. According to a report in December 2014 from the Corporation for National & Community Service, one in four Americans volunteer through an organization and two-thirds helped their neighbors in some capacity. I was pleasantly surprised to read this, as the figures were higher than I expected!

The non-profit sector has grown steadily over the last decade adding paid employees, as well as  volunteers to their ranks. Unfortunately, these unsung heroes don’t get a lot of press or compensation. As Gordon Livingston, MD noted in his book, The Thing You Think You Cannot Do:

One of the ironies of the capitalist system is that the largest material rewards go to the most selfish and acquisitive among us while those who dedicate their lives to the benefit of others are customarily the least compensated.

But, kindness has nothing to do with money. Altruistic efforts are their own reward. There are many large and small organizations where volunteers give of their time and talents for the collective good. They do it because it feels good and satisfies a need to make a contribution to a cause they believe in.

We’re also familiar with individual, spontaneous acts of kindness such as Pay It Forward  and Random Acts of Kindness. These websites offer ideas and support on how to give back to society at large.

This past week I noticed a few instances of kindness:

  • A young man from the apartment complex changed the tire for an elderly resident
  • A twenty-something female in line at the grocery store helped a mom with three small children unload her grocery cart
  • A man in front of me at the post office let me go ahead of him because he had several packages, while I only had one

These small, yet admirable efforts remind us that there are opportunities to show kindness all around us. Everyday and everywhere we go. However, we must become more aware of them. I believe our fast-paced lives rob us of this awareness. In addition, with so many people glued to their smartphones, we tend to miss these opportunities. Becoming more mindful of our surroundings and the people in them is a good way to recognize them.

Elephant

Whether we donate to charity, volunteer with an organization, or help a neighbor/stranger, kindness can be shared with anyone.

We should become prime examples of compassion for our fellow-man and teach our children to do the same.

I’ve always tried to be a good neighbor and helpful when an opportunity presents itself. However, this challenge has me thinking about volunteering. There are so many worthy causes, it will be hard to choose. But, I’m committed to researching what’s in my area and giving some time and energy to helping others. I’ll keep you posted!

While it might not be possible to single-handedly change the world, it is possible to change your own little corner of it…one kind act at a time. Let’s strive to be leaders when it comes to kindness and challenge those around us to follow our lead!

The Kindness Challenge