Florida

My Life in Boxes

/ Luanne Shernisky / 4 Comments

Moving is a lot of work, but packing up your worldly goods and transporting them from point A to point B is fairly straightforward. I wish that had been the case in my situation. My move from PA to FL involved a few “extra” steps:

politifact-photos-Moving_boxes

  • Packing to be ready for the movers on August 28th
  • Coordinating the arrival and unloading of my belongings at the destination on September 1st
  • Designating certain boxes to be first on the truck, so they could be last off the truck, so that I would have easier access to them once they were put in storage
  • Leaving cleaning supplies, vacuum, lights, some tools, and an assortment of other items needed to clean up the apartment until September 2nd, when I had to turn in the keys
  • Moving those items to a friend’s house until my final departure on October 20th
  • Leaving enough clothes, toiletries, computer, and other items needed for day-to-day living until my final departure on October 20th

Of course, there was a lot of other things going on during this time that made it even more chaotic.

  • I had just returned from FL on August 2nd after spending two weeks getting my daughter situated. She accepted a position in Orlando and we had to get her a car and an apartment, so that she was ready to start work on July 27th.
  • My mother had about two doctor appointments each week, from September 1st until the time I left.
  • I was frantically trying to get instructions in place for the person who would take over my job. I was already working a reduced schedule so that I could take mom to her appointments.
  • I was dealing with many emotions during this whole time: guilt, fear, sadness, and excitement to name a few

I spent three weeks packing a two bedroom apartment and at one point it felt like I would NEVER get every single thing packed. I had moved eight years prior and left a lot of stuff behind, but had acquired a few new things along the way. I couldn’t fathom what it must be like to pack an entire house, complete with attic and basement. I couldn’t do it.

Right now me and my belongings are in limbo. I’m living temporarily with my son and daughter-in-law, who graciously invited me to stay with them while I job search. Because this is a new start, I really want to make good decisions. I want to hold out for a job that is truly meaningful. Which job that is, I’m not sure.

Job Search GIF

My son came in from work the other day and asked me if I was keeping busy. I responded, “Oh, yes. I’m busy trying to find myself.”

He reminded me that I’m 54 years old and if I haven’t found myself yet, I probably never will.

But I remain hopeful.

 

 

An Open Letter to My Old Apartment

/ Luanne Shernisky / 4 Comments

Dear Apt. 16,

I wanted to drop you a line to let you know that I arrived in Florida safely. I’m sorry that I couldn’t stay longer on that last day, when I had to turn in the keys. I really hate good-byes and didn’t want to drag out the inevitable.

I hope you know how hard it was for me to leave. We spent eight good years together and I did a lot of growing up during that time. I know it’s funny to hear a 54 year-old person say that, but I really grew a lot in the time we were together. When I came to you I had recently left a very tough life situation. I was emotionally and spiritually crushed and I cried a lot. There was so much healing ahead for me and you offered a refuge and a home that I could finally call my own. Because you are on the second floor, my daughter fondly named you “The Treehouse.” Being at the end of the building, you provided a nice, quiet atmosphere, away from the traffic of the entryway and stairwell. I and my three neighbors enjoyed a little cul de sac of sorts.

When I first came to look at you, I thought I would miss having a window in the kitchen, because I always had one before. I thought it would be difficult to store my belongings, since you had no basement or attic. Sharing the laundry with other people was a new experience that I had to get used to. I was concerned about noise and privacy with neighbors being in the next room, instead of the next house. In the beginning I had these doubts, but I got used to the changes and my new home.

Eight times I carved pumpkins, prepared Thanksgiving dishes to take to my parents house, decorated for Christmas, spring cleaned, and sat out on my little balcony during the summer. I celebrated many milestones with you: birthdays, one high school graduation, four college graduations, one law school graduation, and a wedding. There were some sad times, as well.

I loved coming home after work to the peace and quiet you provided. I enjoyed watching the wildlife and the seasons change through the sliding glass door. I loved mostly everything about living with you. My only real complaint was about the shower situation. If the downstairs neighbor flushed his toilet when I was taking a shower, I would be temporarily scalded. I know you remember, because it happened fairly often and I cussed a lot when it did. I’m sorry about that; I know it wasn’t your fault. I’m also sorry for the hair color that I dripped on the carpet outside the bathroom door. I went almost eight years without causing you any damage! I’m guessing they replaced the carpet after I left, since I got my full deposit back.

I do miss you a lot. I’m enjoying being with my children, but I feel a bit out of sorts, since I don’t have a place of my own yet. It feels like I’m here on vacation and that I’ll be returning to you soon. But, I won’t.

I’ve been wondering who is living with you now. Who is sleeping in my old bedroom. Do they miss having a window over the kitchen sink? Do they sit out on the balcony at night and look at the stars? Have they been scalded in the shower yet? I hope they appreciate and take care of you the way I did. You deserve it.

I wish you many more good years with all the people who will come to you and call you home. I hope that they grow and make happy memories with you like I did. I’ll never forget you and I hope you never forget me.

Sincerely,

Luanne (Your Former Tenant)

Decisions

/ Luanne Shernisky / 4 Comments

Well here goes nothing. Or something. We’ll see…

Starting a blog is the something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but kept putting off. I had all the right reasons:  I worked full-time, attended college part-time, and was helping with the care of my father, whose dementia was growing worse. Combine that with shopping, cooking, banking, laundry, apartment cleaning, homework, helping my mother with things  she used to depend on my father for, and I stayed pretty darn busy! What precious little time and energy leftover was spent with my adult children and significant other (when they were available), trying to relax and enjoy life.

This past year I graduated and my dad went into a nursing home (both of which provides plenty of material to blog about.) It also freed up time in my evenings and weekends. I promised myself the blog would be on my New Year’s resolutions list for 2015.

So, here I am. A fifty-something Baby Boomer with a newly minted Public Relations degree…and hot flashes. I’m in a transition period and menopause, all at once. Talk about fun! I’ve worked at the same company for 17 years and because there’s no room for advancement, it’s time for a career change. I want to find a job that fulfills me, while utilizing the education I’ll spend the rest of my life paying off.

I’m still trying to accept the recent changes that have occurred: the fact that my dad will never hang curtain rods for me again, among other things. My oldest son and daughter-in-law moved to Florida 18 months ago. They are doing very well, just bought a house, but I miss them a lot. My middle child (another son) is single, lives and works here in our hometown and is super busy. I don’t see enough of him and have concluded that it’s easier to get an audience with the Pope. My youngest, a daughter, is spending the upcoming spring semester in Washington D.C. completing an internship, and will graduate in May. She is a talented writer, a total introvert, and probably the only girl her age who wants to live with her mother forever. She thinks we should move to Florida to be near her brother and sister-in-law, who she feels will be starting a family soon.

“You will be near your grandchildren and we can be like Dorothy and Sophia on the Golden Girls,” she quips, referring to the popular late 80’s TV sitcom, featuring the mother-daughter duo played by Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty.

Decisions

Honestly, though….I’m in a tough place right now with some big decisions looming. What’s my next move?

I despise the western Pennsylvania weather and have wanted to move to a warmer climate for most of my adult life. Stringing Christmas lights in palm trees is my fantasy; living by the ocean my dream. The job market here isn’t promising either. At some point my mom will need assisted living and my brother and sister live out of town. The situation with my SO (significant other) is complicated. He’s a wonderful person and very good to me, but he has a lot of his own issues. Looking ahead I don’t see much outside of a dating relationship. If I had a great job, loved the climate, had more financial and personal security and living space, then I’d be content to stay (or would I?)

But I’m not content and once my daughter graduates in May, I will no longer be location bound. Her graduation has been my deadline for making the decision.

So, how does one decide whether to stay or go? How do you prioritize who and what matters most in a descending list? How can I make the right decision based on what I want when that also means sacrifices?

And what about fear? Yeah, I’m scared of the changes, but fear kept me stuck in a bad marriage for too many years. I don’t want that to happen again. I don’t ever want to forgo a truly meaningful life simply because change is scary.

Any suggestions?