Remembering the Sabbath

A row of ornate brown wooden church pews

Ahh…Sundays; who doesn’t love them?

Well, probably all the folks who have to punch a clock. This means anyone employed in a service industry, such as retail, restaurants, or the medical field. I spent many years in the retail sector and don’t miss working evenings, weekends, and those frantic holidays.

Some of you may remember when stores were closed on Sundays, or had reduced hours. The idea was to keep the day open for church and family. My first job at 16 was at a grocery store, which was open from 9am to 9pm, Monday through Saturday. We were closed on Sundays. A few years after I started they began Sunday hours from 10am to 2pm.


For Christians, Sunday is a day of worship. I have fond memories attending church with my grandma where the members were called “born again.” As a small child I didn’t understand; I thought being born was something you only did once. Later, after listening to enough sermons, I understood the concept. Whenever someone asked if I went to church I said that I went to the Born Again one on Cedar Avenue.

The building was small with a center aisle leading to the altar, which consisted of a raised platform with a rail around it. In the center was the podium that held a large Bible. All the women sat on the left side and wore dresses and what appeared to be doilies on their heads. Pants were not allowed. They also weren’t permitted to wear jewelry other than wedding rings. The men sat on the right in dark suits and shoes. It had a simple design; minimalist with no ornate architecture or stained glass windows. The church was plain like its members.

I enjoyed the hymns and listening to my great-aunt’s voice quiver as she tried to hit the high notes, but failed. The organ was played by the pastor’s daughter, an awkward teenager who managed a few notes off key each week, but I still thought it was lovely. She wore a doily and I was jealous. Neither she nor I were old enough; you had to be 18. But, they made an exception because she played the organ. 

A child's praying hands

After the gathering prayers there was a Bible study for the adults, while the kids had Sunday school in one of the back rooms of the church. I loved Sunday school and hearing the stories from the Bible. We did fun crafts with cool things like pipe cleaners and pasta noodles. There were songs and Bible verses. If we minded the teacher we usually got a cookie. After that the children joined the adults for the main service.

I tried desperately to pay attention, but it was hard. The pastor was a nice man who gave long-winded exhortations and heavily punctuated them with the word “Lord.” What I remember most were his stories of hell; that fiery pit of damnation, where all sinners went after death. Sinning involved things like gambling, dancing, and going to the movies. Spending time in beer gardens would earn you a one-way ticket to the devil’s house, as well. Then there was the sin of coveting. You could covet your neighbor’s goods, including their wife, but it wasn’t advisable. Interestingly, I never heard him talk about coveting your neighbor’s husband.

I was still young and had no interest in gambling or beer, but I did like dancing and movies. And jewelry. I was guilty of wanting some things the other kids had, so that meant I was a coveter.

He went into great detail about the horrors these evil-doers could expect and described their “grinding and gnashing of teeth” when they were thrown into the fiery pit. I didn’t ever want to go there, but worried constantly about whether I could tow the line.

Sometimes people from other Born Again churches came for something called Fellowship. I liked Fellowship Sundays because they involved a luncheon and yummy desserts like Grandma’s pineapple squares. In a room off the kitchen they would set up a long table filled with mismatched dishes for a potluck feast. These delicious foods were put in the oven on low temperatures until the end of the morning services. The kitchen was right next to the church where the congregation sat and the tantalizing aromas made it especially hard to focus on the pastor’s lengthy sermon.

It was fun playing with the kids from the visiting churches, whom we only saw once in awhile. The downside was the extra long homilies. Our pastor and the visiting one both took a turn at the pulpit and it cut into the fun parts of Fellowship.

Holy Bible on a stand

There’s also nice memories from our Sunday school holiday programs. Prior to Christmas and Easter each year, we would receive a typed out Bible verse on a scrap of paper, which had to be memorized. If I received one longer than two sentences I panicked. I was terrified of forgetting my lines and believed anything over two sentences was tempting fate.

Ater our Christmas program we received a small box of candy wrapped and tied with a pretty bow. For Easter we received a small chocolate bunny, but these gifts came with a stern reminder of the true “reason of the season.” We were never to forget that it was Christ’s birth and resurrection. I always thanked Jesus before enjoying the Christmas candy or biting the ears off the rabbit.

Christmas caroling is another wonderful memory I have of those days. It was always snowy in December and we crunched over the icy sidewalks singing in our best voices. People would open their doors or come onto their porches smiling broadly and nodding. Sometimes they joined in with our singing. After we finished they would clap and thank us for bringing them good tidings of great joy. It made me feel quite important and happy inside. After all, it’s not everyday that you get to bring good tidings of great joy. Usually, you have to be at school or work, if you’re a grown up.

Caroling at the nursing home was another story. As a little kid I didn’t understand why some of the old people didn’t smile and nod. Or clap when we finished. A few of them would stare at us, expressionless. They suffered from awful bedhead and their eyes appeared to see things I couldn’t, and it scared me. It also felt far too warm for the weird smells that circulated. I thought a few cracked windows might do the trick. There was a mixture of sadness and fear in my heart every year that we visited. Once we were back outside in the fresh air there was relief. I never outgrew these feelings and they remained as I visited my own parents in their respective nursing homes. For different reasons, of course.


Our memories are selective and we tend to recall happy times, while letting the somber ones slip away. Reminiscing about those early years at the Born Again church makes me happy. It’s a strong connection to my elders who are now all gone. My grandma, great-aunts and great-uncles. The friends I made back then are also gone from my life.

I left the church around the age of 15. I wanted to wear makeup and jewelry and go to the movies and dances. I wanted to play card games and do a lot ot the things that were frowned upon. I believed you could be a good person with or without the doily.

But, I learned the stories of the Bible, the Ten Commandments, and that we’re supposed to love our neighbors. I learned about forgiveness and being forgiven. Despite rejecting some of their practices, I kept the truly valuable lessons.

I’m grateful to my grandma for helping instill the tenets of what it takes to be a good and decent person, with or without the church. She gave me many gifts throughout my life, but that was the most precious of all.

Every time I do the right thing or make the right choice I think of her. And that’s a legacy that I know she would be proud of.


Photo credits: Pixabay

Weekend Coffee Share | Simple Pleasures

Weekend Coffee ShareIf we were having coffee I’d ask how you define “simple pleasures” in your life today.

Since my mom died almost two years ago, I started feeding the birds. It was something she always did. I also started doing it as a way to entertain the new cat that adopted me while Mom was in declining health.

We have ceiling to floor windows in the den that look out at a small side yard. There are large arbor vitae trees that provide a home to many birds. I placed several feeders, as well as a bird bath in this area.

I then put a cat tree near those windows and enjoyed many happy hours watching Miss Kitty stalk and “attack” our feathered friends from inside the glass. Even the squirrels would climb up onto the feeders and taunt our poor feline! I’m not sure who was more entertained, the cat or myself.

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I lost my mom first and then my kitty. I gave the pet items to my son who has two cats of his own, but the bird feeders remained; a constant reminder of what I’d lost.

I considered getting rid of them because watching those little feathered creatures was painful at first. But, I slowly realized that they came to depend on me. Kind’ve like my Mom and Kitty did. 

Sure, my furry friends managed without my help before and could again. But, winter was coming, a season when freezing temps and snow make food and water scarce here in the northeast.

The menagerie of wildlife isn’t limited to just birds, but also includes rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, opossums, raccoons, and the occasional skunk. Knowing that my efforts improve their quality of life makes me feel really good inside.

 There was no way I could let them down and it was a win-win for all of us. So, I continue my ritual of going out every morning to fill the feeders and put out fresh water. I also offer up a variety of fruits, vegetables, and peanuts. As the weather turned cold I even invested in a heated birdbath to prevent the water from freezing.

There was a time when I good-naturedly laughed at my Mom’s concern for the outdoor critters. It was during my busiest years, working and raising a family, and I couldn’t imagine devoting any of my precious time and energy to the wildlife; there just wasn’t enough of either.

But, times have changed.

Cardinal on bird feeder in winter

With the kids grown, my parents gone, and a semi-retired lifestyle, I now have the time. And I consider my caretaking of the backyard animals one of my simple pleasures. I get a tremendous amount of joy looking out the window and seeing them feasting on the goodies I put out. 

I have lots of simple pleasures these days: the occasional bubble bath, good books, walks in the park, playing photographer, writing, lunch dates with friends, and so much more. 

And, of course, spending time with my family. We don’t even have to be doing anything special; just hanging out is best. No deadlines, no expectations, no dress code. Just being comfortable in who we are and making memories. 

Time seems to be the common denominator. We spend so much of our lives working and hurrying to the next thing that we don’t really have time for simple pleasures. It’s all we can do to manage the basics. 

I’m proud of all that I accomplished so far. It took a lot of hard work to raise the wonderful family that I have. It wasn’t easy getting the college degree as an adult. There were heartaches and tears along the way, but that’s life.

And, as with most things in life, there are trade offs. Apparently, the tradeoff for gray hair and creaky knees is time spent doing the things we want to do versus what we have to do.

At this stage of the game, I think it’s well worth it.

What about you?


 

 

 

Photo 101: Treasure + Closeup

 

Ring Final

Photo 101: Treasure + Closeup


How does one define treasure? Let me count the ways…

Dictionary.com offers several definitions, the first two of which refer to precious metals, money, jewels, and the like. But, that restricts the choices to objects that have monetary value only.

I prefer number 3: “any thing or person greatly valued or highly prized.” This meaning allows for unlimited options, with value being decided by the individual, not society. At first I wasn’t sure what direction to go in. For me, the obvious choice of what I treasure most is family. But, there are many other things that I treasure, as well. 

Take food, for instance. I have a greater appreciation for food today than ever before. Is it my age? I was a finicky eater as a kid, but am continually broadening my horizons as I grow older (sans raw meat.) Some of my happiest memories are of eating those favorite dishes in my favorite restaurants or my mother’s kitchen. Actually, my idea of the perfect job is to be a food critic. Fly around the world, eat in thousands of locations, and write about the experience. And people get paid to do this? Where do I sign up?

TREASUREHow about books? As I try to adopt a more minimalist lifestyle, books are things that I have a hard time parting with. I had to do it when I left PA for FL, but it wasn’t easy! I let go of all the fiction, keeping only a few selections that I hadn’t read yet. I also kept my college textbooks (for future job reference) and a couple favorite novels that I’ll keep forever.

Memories are treasures, too. I thought about taking a photo of picture albums and scrapbooks. I’ve spent hours putting these together (and have a lot more to do) and they mean the world to me, because they’re a look back into a past that is gone forever.

The same goes for the home movies. What’s more fun than seeing family and friends, from years ago, mugging for the camera. Especially those loved ones who are no longer with us. Or, seeing your children, now grown, as babies and toddlers? While the images are powerful enough, the sound of their little voices really resonate within my heart.

Speaking of heart, while I don’t own any expensive jewelry, I do have a couple pieces that mean the world to me. They were handed down and one day I’ll pass them on. I’ve included in this post a picture of the one that my children gave me last Mother’s Day.

It is a small, rather delicate, sterling silver ring with their birthstones. It’s not the price tag that makes this so meaningful, but who and what it represents. Each of these stones signifies the three best things I ever did. Not just the births themselves, but every moment that came after. Like many parents, I devoted much time and energy to raising them. Blood, sweat, and tears…literally. With the help of a supportive extended family, lots of love, and a little luck, they turned out pretty well. I’m very proud of the people they’ve become. They are my best work.

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So, when asked to submit a picture that shows what we treasure, I thought about what is dearest to my heart and I chose the ring. Not for the metal or the stones, but because it represents their lives and all that they have brought, and continue to bring to my life. It represents the fact that through them a part of me and my work will live on. Of all the things I treasure, this legacy of love is the greatest and the only one that really matters.