Weekend Coffee Share: Charlottesville

Weekend Coffee ShareIf we were having coffee I’d want to tell you that I knew something bad was going to happen in Charlottesville this past weekend.

And I’m not referring to the usual vandalism and looting that often go along with protests and demonstrations.


The Friday night images of the “Unite the Right” demonstrators wielding torches evoked a distant memory. As they marched across the darkened UVA campus I was reminded of a scene from the 1931 movie Frankenstein.

Scene from Frankenstein movie (1931)-townspeople with torches

The townspeople in that story were on a mission to destroy a creature that they feared.

He had a kind and gentle nature but was “different” in appearance and behavior.

Based on these differences they made incorrect assumptions and treated him with hatred. Intimidated by his extremely large size and peculiar looks they labeled him a monster.

Eventually, he too became violent due to the hostility and maltreatment they had shown him. 

Without ever attempting to communicate and understand Frankenstein, they rejected him in the most contemptible way.


I think this is a part of prejudicial bigotry. It’s a fear of people and things that are unfamiliar or different. Without an earnest effort to discover why this fear exists there won’t be a conversation. And without a conversation, there won’t be a positive change.

Some of us grew up in homes that embraced diversity in all its forms. Everything from race and religion to clothing and food. We were taught tolerance and a healthy respect for other people and their cultures.

It was okay to be different. After all, the Declaration of Independence guarantees ALL human beings certain inalienable rights.

This doesn’t mean we have to agree with everyone else’s choice regarding lifestyle and belief system. As long as their rights don’t supersede yours and everyone enjoys equality; live and let live.

When we encountered other people or ideas that were different it evoked curiosity, not fear or suspicion. We learned the “do unto others” adage and applied it in everyday life.

Sadly, some of us were taught to fear anything that was contrary to our norms.

Those differences were immediately suspect and we were encouraged in our paranoia and sense of superiority. 

Rather than learn about and understand other races and religions, we turned a wary eye.  Acceptance of individuals outside our belief system would weaken our exclusive groups and mixed marriages would dilute our lineage, robbing us of our true identity. 


 But, what is our true identity?

Is it how we dress and talk? Is it defined by our facial features?

No, I believe it’s internal. Not determined by physical attributes, but rather by the content of one’s character as Martin Luther King, Jr. so eloquently stated. Our minds and hearts make up the intrinsic part of our identities. 

The external parts of our identity are things like our legal name, address, credit score, and the entire paper trail we’ve established since our birth certificates were issued. It’s our material goods and assets. It’s the shape of our noses and our ability to tan or burn without sunscreen.

Race

A person can suffer a terrible accident resulting in extensive disfigurement. Various types of cosmetic surgery can drastically change one’s appearance. Modifications to any part of our physical bodies can alter one’s looks and change the outward presentation.

But, it can’t change who we really are: our ideologies, beliefs, personalities, emotional intelligence, etc.

I would urge anyone who judges others based on skin color, religion, or life philosophy to make a concerted effort to get to know the person.

Let go of the fear associated with the unfamiliar. Educate yourself regarding other cultures, religions, and human beings. Learn and become familiar.

You might discover that the commonalities outnumber the differences. And the differences can actually enrich your life in ways you never dreamed possible. 


 

 

 

 

World Elephant Day 2017

 

Baby Elephant nuzzling its mother

All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful: The Lord God made them all.

Each little flower that opens,
Each little bird that sings,
He made their glowing colors,
He made their tiny wings.

The purple headed mountains,
The river running by,
The sunset and the morning
That brightens up the sky.

The cold wind in the winter,
The pleasant summer sun,
The ripe fruits in the garden,
He made them every one.

The tall trees in the greenwood,
The meadows where we play,
The rushes by the water,
To gather every day.

He gave us eyes to see them,
And lips that we might tell
How great is God Almighty,
Who has made all things well….

All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful: The Lord God made them all.

Cecil F. Alexander (1848) 

Learn more at  WorldElephantDay.org


 

Kindness Challenge|Week 7: Grateful For Kindness

Person feeling gratitude looking at the sunrise with extended armsBeing “Grateful for Kindness” was the topic for Week 7 of the Kindness Challenge. 

And who isn’t grateful when someone shows us goodwill?

It could be another driver giving us the right of way at a four-way intersection. Or, the person with the overflowing shopping cart who lets us go ahead when they see we only have a loaf of bread. 

These are the small kindnesses that make us feel good for a few seconds and then are forgotten, lost in the business of our day.

Then there are the big kindnesses we witness in the world: selfless people who undergo surgery to give organs and the chance for life to others. And those courageous folks who risk their own lives and health to help citizens living in war zones and abject poverty.  

Often we’ll hear about these acts of kindness in news reports and online. However, I suspect there are a lot more we don’t ever hear about because bad news attracts more attention than good news. Tragedies, crime, and the worst of humanity sell more papers and get more follows.


I believe that gratitude is a learned attribute. Most people master the art of please and thank you early in life. But, many others simply don’t appreciate the kindnesses they’re shown. Often times they seem to expect the generosity of others.

The qualities of a good person are discussed in this recent New York Times opinion piece. Tiny white shell on sand with the quote I was quite touched by the story. One of those conditions is performing acts of good will without expecting anything in return (which happened to be the challenge for week #6.) 

Another one is respect for others, regardless of their title or position. I believe kindness and respect are symbiotic; if you feel one, you feel the other. 

We should always express our gratitude to people who show us kindness. When a driver stops and lets me cross the roadway, I nod and wave. When a family member goes out of their way to help me, I thank them.

And I’m grateful when that driver waves back or when the relative smiles with satisfaction knowing their good deed is appreciated.

These small gestures remind us of our humanity and mutual respect. If we want to make the world a better place we can’t take these things for granted. 

To do so would spell the end of civility and we’re already seeing too much of that now. If we’re truly grateful for kindness

If we’re truly grateful for the kindness we have an obligation to demonstrate our appreciation by paying it forward!


 

 

 

 

Week 7: Grateful for Kindness